"You Don't Understand High School Talk"
Speaking of slang, the other day, my 16 year old son sent me a picture on SnapChat (I hate that app, but will not soapbox it just yet!), with the caption "Chem squad feat bae and teach."
What the ever-loving hell was that?
It was a picture of him, a cute girl, and a teacher. I really had no idea what he was trying to say, but as a mom, we learn to decipher spelling-impared-and-or-lazy kids' writing. I gathered that it broke down as follows:
chem = chemistry class. Pretty self-explanatory
squad = I see no cheerleaders nor football players, so this must not mean the typical "squad." This son never proofreads anything, so I thought maybe he meant another word. "Squat?" No, nobody was squatting. "Square?" I suppose there might be a thing called chemistry square. I don't know...it's been a few years. I finally gave up, and moved onto context clues for the next words.
feat = Ok, again, he can't spell. I assumed he meant "feet," yet didn't see anything except torsos, since they are either sitting at, or standing up near a desk. Then I wondered if the cheerleaders' feet were there. Could there possibly be a "chemistry squad?" And where were their feet? I knew this son did not belong on any kind of academic squad (remember this description?), so I was baffled.
bae = I unfortunately know what this means. I have been properly schooled on that fact that "bae" refers to one's boyfriend, girlfriend, celeb crush, or any person the speakers finds attractive. In this case, I'm going to assume he meant the pretty girl, whose name I have never heard speak of in my house.
teach = Well, there's another girl standing at the table. I see a name badge, yet all of the high school kids wear one. She's looks a TAD bit older than the girl sitting down (previously assumed to be "Bae.") I'm going to assume this means teacher.
Now it's all as clear as mud.
Finally, when he got home, I said "What in God's Green Acres did you send me?"
He responded "WHAT?? It was me and my bae in Chemistry."
I said, "First of all, I wasn't aware that you had a "bae," and second, why didn't you just write that on the picture."
At this point, I must have become the most under-educated, un-hip, out-of-touch parent in my son's eyes. He gave me the most annoyed look and said "Because that's how we talk in HIGH SCHOOL, MOM! SORRY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW HIGH SCHOOL PEOPLE TALK!" The nerve of me.
Grated, growing up in the 80's, we had our own "high school slang." I can remember cringing any time my dad tried to be "hip" and used "peachy-keen" and "groovy" in place of the "awesome" and "bad" we used then. He had no idea how HIGH SCHOOL PEOPLE TALK!
My son informed me that his caption meant "This hot girl, me and [featuring]the teacher in Chemistry."
Ah, I see now. "Chem squad feat bae and teach."
THAT clears it up.
Things are totally hizzy up in the jizzy, my friends. Be cool with yo bad self, and hug all your "squad" tightly tonight. ;)
PS: Being the "hip" mother that I am, I decided to look up "squad" in Urban Dictionary. I'm telling you, if you need to know ANY kind of slang term, it's in there. Grated, it's written mostly by the people who use the terms, so the definitions are quite...colorful, but it works. Here is the definition of "squad:"
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..but why would they need to score "paper?" We have plenty left in the homework bucket at home? Oh...
Word.
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You are so neato...I mean nifty...I mean totally radical...ugh...thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteLol, Fran. I can't keep up any more. And thank you for being my first commenter! !
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