Why I Hate December 16th | Missing My Dad

December 16th is my second least favorite day. Thirteen years ago today, I lost my dad to a sudden heart attack. He was only 60 years old, and had no major heart problems. Ten years later (my least favorite day), I lost my mom, so I am truly a middle-age orphan. Being only 47 and having both parents gone is something I never imagined. I also never imagined that my kids would not have

Dad with all three of my bio kids

grandparents alive as long as I did (mine all lived into their 80's).

1981. I'm in the back

My dad, I've come to realize since his passing, was my hero, and my greatest protector. Sure, he was my biggest nemesis when I was a teenager, but after I became an adult, he and I had a lot in common, and most of all, he protected me. He always protected me.

My parents divorced when I was 11, and my dad had custody of my sister and me. He moved us from Illinois to Texas smack dab in the middle of fifth grade, for me. It was tough. My dad had an agenda, though, about moving us. He wanted us away from my mom, mostly out of anger and spite toward her. Eventually, she ended up moving to Texas, too, so it all worked out in the end, but I spent most of my adolescence and teen years with my dad (and step-mom, who was and still in a huge influence in who I am). My dad was really strict, growing up. He was always on top of our school-work, and would give his last breath to keep mine and my sister's reputations intact (and, as far as he knew, he succeeded!) ;) . He was hard on our boyfriends, yet to this day, each one of them, now fathers themselves, tells me how much they admired him. You definitely couldn't have convince me of that in high school!

Dad was always there with advice though. He was quirky guy, having strong opinions on things that didn't bother most people, but he backed up his reasons thoroughly, most of the time, and he was pretty smart. As a teen, I resented him a lot, but as a young adult, I realized that the things he did for us, and the reasons behind it all made a lot of sense.

I am truly envious of my friends who still spend time with their daddies. Not being able to share the ups and downs with either one of my parents is hard on the heart. Luckily for me, I have a large family of my own, so being lonely is never an option.

I still will never like December 16th. I love you, Dad.